Yesterday I received a good lesson in perspective. Keeping things in perspective. And I wasn’t very graceful about it. For maybe two hours I took MANY MANY photos of green bask-owls–bowls. Futilely. And I initially posted about the frustration–the inability to capture “correct” greens, blues, yellows and oranges. I whined about it until I got sick of hearing myself whine. I gave explanations until I got sick of hearing those as well. Then I tried to explain why capturing “correct” was SO important. And what was a downhill trajectory totally bottomed out at that point.
I drew a line through all the text. Posted it. Came back a few minutes later and totally deleted everything except the baskets. Even though I was unable to capture the true qualities and shades of the green bowls. I had had enough. Enough already. And what I was left with was a heightened state of agitation floating on top of a series of thoughts–like “why in the world is this so important?”
I don’t know “why?” But I do know it was some form of insanity. Mild, but insane nevertheless. Simply put, I had lost perspective. Lost my focus, lost my center. So. Clearly there are lessons in every thing. Yesterday I thought I was learning how to capture correct color. Today I see I was really given an opportunity–another opportunity–to simply let go of how I wanted things to be–and accept how things really were. Enough said about that.
Still, I must be hanging onto it all, somehow, because I have the NEED to say–I didn’t get it–yesterday–I didn’t capture the true beauty of the color. What IS there, doesn’t do the bowls justice. At All. Now I’m finished.