Shocked and saddened by the news that Thich Nhat Hanh is seriously ill. Hard to imagine a world bereft of his light.
OK. In light of the above news, this posting seems almost silly– but I’ll go ahead with it, with the awareness of what is really important and what is simply daily drama.
A little more than a year ago I applied for booth space at Woolworth Walk in Asheville. A very popular venue downtown. Two floors of an old Woolworth’s store containing the work of local artists. A month or so later I received a call saying my cloth had been accepted, but was told that it would probably be a while before space opened. Well, a year later, last week in fact, I got the call. A space was open. Did I want it?
My first reaction was no. I felt too busy. I had only several days to pull it together–paint, hang a shelf, deal with lighting. That doesn’t sound like much. But the day the call came I was participating in the drama of having made an offer on a house–and I just felt overwhelmed. Even after we backed out of the house offer, I still felt resistance to taking this step. The rent on the booth is cheap, really. $45/month. And IF something sells, commission is 19%. But the booth is small–a 3′ wall approximately 6′ tall. I couldn’t visualize it. Couldn’t see how I might display the cloth so that each piece could be seen. Then when I hesitated and the WW manager said, “Well, you won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t take it–but it may take another year before something else opens,” I decided to go for it. Other than a few intense days of set-up, what could be the harm?
It’s been an interesting process–the thoughts and feelings that are arising. I’m looking at those now–those thoughts and feelings. How I seem more comfortable just storing the cloth under my bed. I’m really wondering about that. The complacency with being invisible. Wondering also if fear of rejection is playing into all of this? And as soon as I notice that one–the rejection thing–a HUGE white flag waves in front of me. A reminder. An insight.
It amazes me how lessons/reminders come in so many different forms. And the lessons that are up right now are directing me back to the wisdom bound up in Miguel Angel Ruiz book, The Four Agreements. There’s really no reason to list the phrasing of the thoughts I’m having. It’s enough to say some of them are less than positive and really deserve as little air time as possible.
So I’m looking at this. Noticing the thoughts. Wondering if I’m inadvertently confusing cloth and self. Asking for clarity. And as Jude Hill always says, just going.
The trak lighting I hung overpowered the cloths. I was tempted to leave it because adapting the trak and hanging the light was a BIG deal. Challenging. But the light cast heavy shadows around the kantha stitching. Made the cloth hard to view. So I’m rethinking lighting. And the background paint–I was locked into that–gallery white. But for now here it is–an opportunity to observe and to notice where my bucket holes need patching.