I have to get into a groove. A rhythm. Every time I think it’s happening, some THING comes along. Three weeks ago I posted “Offering.” And when I posted it I thought, “I’ll be back tomorrow to explain.” But that didn’t happen. In fact, I’m chagrined to see that I didn’t even respond to kind comments posted there. And I can hardly believe this oversight because comments are the lifeblood of this blogging venture. They keep me going, really. They form ground–substance–support. Without which I would be spitting in the wind. Today I will respond to those “offering” comments, with gratitude…and explanation…the explanation that I’ve been caught up in major-other-than-normal activities. Like falling into a vortex. Or the rabbit hole. And now I’m peeking out to see what’s still here and what isn’t….
Now. Let’s see. Where to begin. For a long time my sister and I have thought it would make sense to combine households. We both live here. A few minutes apart. Why replicate utilities? Why duplicate services and their associated costs? Why this and why that? It seemed to make sense. We thought for certain it would reduce our carbon footprint. We thought that we would take up less room on this already crowded planet. That living together would somehow reduce the drain on all things. And so, we have been looking. And clarifying our individual needs. Space needs. Configuration needs. Dogs’ needs. Personal needs. We’ve been clarifying where we want to be– here in this town. How much time we want to spend driving for the basics–library, groceries, post office. Clarifying how we will sell our homes. Put the proceeds into this new abode. Acknowledging and grateful for the fact that we are sisters AND friends.
We come from the same place–a very rural, rural WV setting where driving for groceries and errands often consumed half a day. And so that has become a big factor because driving is also associated with gasoline consumption and air pollution issues. And since I drive several days a week to pick up boy/child from school, I have to consider that. And as I’m considering all of this, I realize how much I’ve changed. How my lifestyle and thinking has shifted–from rural to urban sustainability. Their similarities and differences. The trade-offs. But this is where I am. For now.
So. House-hunting. Hmmmmm. Learning to read between the lines of descriptions. Learning to see past the lens of the realtor’s camera. Wondering how what I’m seeing in real life could possibly relate to what I looked at on the MLS. Learning to filter out this and that before taking up our time and our realtor’s time…yet not wanting to rule out something based on assumptions. Having said this, we’ve looked at a LOT of houses in the last month or so. We’ve looked with creative eyes–seeing how things could be changed, rearranged, altered to fit our needs. Then analyzing the cost of those changes and going forward from there. We’ve made offers on two houses. One offer we rescinded even before it was presented to the seller. The other offer was accepted, we paid for the house inspection, and then realized we were out of our minds. And fortunately, in NC there is a 30-day grace period called “due diligence” where prospective buyers can change their mind for whatever reason, without penalty.
This has been going on daily now for some time. And really, I’m starting to see this endeavor as another form of spiritual practice. Noticing what arises. The tendency to think, ooooooooh, I want . Looking at that. Stepping back from it. Realizing that each of those thoughts, thoughts that pull me–us–off center are really simply FLAGS. My dad refereed high school football. He ran around throwing down white hankies when something went afoul. That’s what all of these thoughts are reminding me of. White hankies indicating that I’m off base in one way or another. White flags. Accompanied with the reminder of the need to detach– to surrender. To heed white flags.
There’s something else but I’m feeling the need to be quiet now. Enough with words for now. Just this:
the family of beings