Disclosure of Cloth and Self

4 Nov

This is something I’m not comfortable doing. Documenting the entire process of cloth. Maybe because there are so many awkward stages that I don’t want others to see. And does that reek of ego or what? But again–and again–I have to remind myself of several things. First, this blog is my bread crumb path. And if I fail to strew the crumbs , I might not find my way back. Secondly, I have to remind myself this is simply how cloth develops for me.

But here’s what I need to remind myself, again. It doesn’t matter if it didn’t work. What matters is that I recognized it and fine-tuned it. And THIS is what is paralleling my life right now. Recognizing things. Without flinching. Throwing out all feelings of “should.” If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. For me, at least. And when it’s necessary, sometimes this has to be expressed. Not always, but always, at least, to myself.

My posts have become shorter because of this, I think. Because in the past I felt as though I had to say something important. Something that resonated with the hopefully acquired semblance of wisdom of 65 years. I can’t even re-read this without laughing. Because. Because, perhaps the only thing worth saying is that right now, right here, this is simply where it’s at. How I am. How the cloth is. That’s all. And really–so what?

time and change

20 Responses to “Disclosure of Cloth and Self”

  1. Bobbi Seiger November 4, 2013 at 10:28 am #

    I say you are doing a fantastic job and thanks for the sharing it has given me many ponderous moments. As you become the new you …you may not be that interested in following the bread crumbs backwards. Shine your light..you have a lot to give. And of course I love your work. This newest piece has so much to dwell on..the tan part looks like a strong bird and their is the face in the moon..have to ponder on how the flower etc all form a theme or feeling.

    • Patricia November 4, 2013 at 10:40 am #

      yes, you’re right–wasn’t thinking of the bread crumb process as moving backwards–more a returning to–best expressed by T.S. Eliot

      Little Gidding V

      We shall not cease from exploration
      And the end of all our exploring
      Will be to arrive where we started
      And know the place for the first time.
      Through the unknown, remembered gate
      When the last of earth left to discover
      Is that which was the beginning;
      At the source of the longest river
      The voice of the hidden waterfall
      And the children in the apple-tree
      Not known, because not looked for
      But heard, half heard, in the stillness
      Between the two waves of the sea.
      Quick now, here, now, always–
      A condition of complete simplicity
      (Costing not less than everything)
      And all shall be well and
      All manner of things shall be well
      When the tongues of flame are in-folded
      Into the crowned knot of fire
      And the fire and the rose are one.

  2. Mo Crow November 4, 2013 at 10:32 am #

    still life

  3. Linda November 4, 2013 at 10:40 am #

    Stitch it in place, now. Remove the interim pins—love it—painting with cloth!
    Linda

    • Patricia November 4, 2013 at 10:53 am #

      i think everything that’s here, now, will remain. but considering to fill in more with the rust fabric–or not. and then the top stitching. the threads that create whole cloth from random pieces. i rarely know just what is called for. and so i sit and stare!

  4. Joan November 4, 2013 at 11:41 am #

    You wrote about your posts becoming shorter because you felt you needed to say something important. Today you said VERY MANY important things…. just to me.
    The disclosure of awkward stages, not wanting others to see how cloth develops . Most importantly throwing out the feelings of “should” . At 66 yrs old these are the words that I have become and you ARE the voice of the hidden waterfall. So today I thank you for a “counseling session”!!!

    • Patricia November 4, 2013 at 12:09 pm #

      i guess the wonderful thing is we’ve lived long enough to “fine tune!”

  5. Marti November 4, 2013 at 11:53 am #

    That old slogan, ” never let them see you sweat”, well NO, it’s all about the sweat, the doing or not, the sharing in words or cloth or whatever a person uses to express themselves…at the end of the day, for me, simply, it’s all about the real of the day..

    • Patricia November 4, 2013 at 12:11 pm #

      yep. authenticity has become more than a “mouthed” goal.

  6. debbie.weaver November 4, 2013 at 12:54 pm #

    Your post resonated with me as well, having reached sixty a couple of months back I feel I am just beginning on my journey to be me, rather than somebody’s wife, mother, daughter. There is something freeing about getting older and yes maybe you do end up where you started, TS Eliot always seem to have something pertinent to say.

    • Patricia November 4, 2013 at 1:35 pm #

      good to hear your voice here, Debbie. my first thought on reading your comment was that i’ll bet your whole life has been a journey of “getting to me.” at least that’s been my experience. and for some reason things are really accelerating. the 60’s were a great decade and now the 60’s seem to be a great age. love

  7. Cathie November 4, 2013 at 1:12 pm #

    It’s all about the process and the “road.” however we get there. whatever we feel along the way. it’s all part of the journey both within ourselves and through our hands.
    beautifully stated, Patricia. beautifully stitched.

    • Patricia November 4, 2013 at 1:42 pm #

      hi Cathie. what you say here about “process” is so true. and something else that i’m noticing is that i’m looking at my belief system quite carefully–wondering why i hung on to some things so stubbornly. and also really examining some things i’ve always “said” i believed–just checking to see if they still apply. so often i think i’ve turned truisms into kinda cliche-ish expressions w/o really getting to the heart of them. so in this case, for me “it’s all about the process and the road” speaks to me the same as remaining mindful and living in the moment. understandings are coming together. ah-ha moments are happening. and i marvel at what a remedial learner i’ve been in some areas! ha.

  8. Bobbi Seiger November 4, 2013 at 2:59 pm #

    Thanks for the T S Eliot…it’s all good..as is your work

  9. Nancy November 5, 2013 at 12:26 am #

    When posting the ‘awkward’ or the ‘sweat’ (as Marti called it), you not only open yourself up to more possibilities, but you open up your viewers as well. And the river you’ve begun carries all along on a journey that, while it may have more rocks…it also has more twists and turns and amazing vistas.
    At almost 10 years your jr. (I’m 55 in April), I have already been trying to pooh-pooh the idea of earned wisdom. I don’t want the pressure of expecting to become wiser in my later years, any differently than I have been until now.
    I love the colors and images of this cloth. I see…above the mountain (bottom right) and the moon that sits above the mountain…I see the head of a Native American – hair blowing to the right. I will be interested to see where this one leads you 🙂

    • Patricia November 6, 2013 at 12:28 pm #

      hi Nancy. thought i’d responded to this. love the imagery you’ve expressed–the river, the rocks, twists, turns and vistas. and i want to acknowledge what sounds like a lot of wisdom to me, that you “don’t want the pressure of expecting to become wiser….” well said

  10. karmadondruplhamo....grace forrest November 6, 2013 at 11:55 am #

    all of it. just Fills me.

    • Patricia November 6, 2013 at 12:29 pm #

      where did my reply go? anyway, i think you’ve already seen how this morphed.

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