Evolution

4 Mar

Sitting in stillness this morning. Then noticing. The play of light and shadow. How both are essential. How one part will either recede or move forward, wholly dependent on where I place my attention. homer Yet each part of this lightness/darkness image requiring the other.

At a workshop this weekend I  experienced what I can only call a fundamental shift in the arrangement of pieces of self–the experience of coming together of disparate parts. A melding. Into one.  And I’m calling this evolution because it was an organic experience–  an adjustment, adaptation–natural selection.

For ever, my m.o. has revolved around “getting rid of.” Banning, removing, resisting,  purging the disparate pieces of self that seemed problematic.  This “getting rid of” model was a futile Promethean endeavor–exhausting and depleting.  So this weekend’s epiphany –that the getting rid of paradigm simply DOES NOT work for me–was both profound and a huge relief.    And the experience itself –well really words diminish it.  But put simply,  all that was required was a “welcoming” attitude. An embracing. A shifting–a making room for– a scooting over to offer ALL these pieces of SELF a place at the table.

And as a post script: One of the guests at the table is voicing doubt with this post. Wanting to be sure I clarify something–that being this: the welcoming is on-going. Never finished. Sometimes guests leave and return. This shift is only that–an opening, an awareness–and it will need be applied to almost each moment, each day, from here — to here on.

And as it happens so often,  again  the metaphor of whole cloth.  The integration of disparate parts and scraps that eventually merge into a unified, strong fabric.  Here is the continued evolution of Primordial Soup.  More kantha stitches completed on the tree curtain.  More on the way.  The addition of a few more thread bumps in the soup itself.  More on the way.soup2

10 Responses to “Evolution”

  1. Mo Crow March 4, 2013 at 4:56 pm #

    this is a major journey piece recording the shifts in perceptions & taking you way deep into new territories, I would love to see it in real life, the feel of the cloth is so much a part of the work too! The Australian writer Lilly Brett said it so well in an interview awhile back after she had spent ten years trying to transform herself into a perfect person by honing her soul & shedding all the things she perceived to be holding her back until one day she woke up to herself and realized she was OK & just accepted both the good and the bad and just got on with it!

    • patricia March 4, 2013 at 5:00 pm #

      Dear Mo. Your words and observations are Always so helpful. The cloth is feeling good–more substantial with each stitch. And I’ll look up Lilly Brett–but right now, as you say, I’m just getting on with it! Love to you.

  2. saskia March 4, 2013 at 6:52 pm #

    I think I understand what you’re saying here,maybe because I’m experiencing something similar, although in my case it wasn’t even a conscious happening; it was like ‘all of a sudden’ I felt light-hearted and whereas usually I feel deflated after the winter-greyness, that didn’t happen this year; I have no idea how it came about, all I know is I am happier with myself, with who I am and where I’m at, than I have been in a long time; as I said, I don’t really know how I got here, but I’m sure as hell gonna enjoy it!
    btw love your piece and the fact you call the tree on the left the tree curtain, that is just wonderful.

    • patricia March 4, 2013 at 10:41 pm #

      I think sometimes I make life harder than necessary. Over the years, way too much time spent in my head. And I’m putting those days behind me now. And might add–IT”S ABOUT TIME!
      I believe Mo is the one who first referred to the trees as “curtains” so I’m following her lead. So glad you’re enjoying its “becoming.”

  3. deedeemallon March 4, 2013 at 9:11 pm #

    sounds like a heart-opening experience, Patricia… I actually don’t think the ‘trying to get rid of’ aspects of self works for ANYONE. For many years, I was part of a group that emphasized the Jungian approach of befriending the shadow – makes for interesting and liberating realizations. I add a caveat, however. While fear and anger are loaded with information, I don’t believe DOUBT has anything to add… so I don’t welcome Doubt. I tell it to ‘be gone’!

    Byron Katie’s work is all about what you describe – accepting what is, and finding freedom there.

    I love how the cloth is coming. The tree stitches going sideways is unexpected and cool.

    • patricia March 4, 2013 at 10:45 pm #

      Yes, I don’t think it works for any one–at all. And it does seem that the simple act of acknowledging something–rather than resisting it, in the case of doubt that you refer to, also has the added bonus of defusing it as well. Thanks for stopping by.

  4. grace Forrest~Maestas March 5, 2013 at 12:25 am #

    this cloth is one that wants everything you can give it. it is
    more and more, with small touches you give. i am enjoying so much
    watching and watching your relationship of pleasure to it.
    Our lives as all so much works of art if we allow it. changing, refining, adding, letting to of, just observing, telling about
    all of it is very Grand, really and i love that you are not shy to
    share it here. We give each other Permission by willingness to share
    our thoughts.
    LOVE to you…

    • patricia March 5, 2013 at 12:33 am #

      Grace, it’s always such a gift to hear from you. I’m beginning to understand the impact of “willingness to share our thoughts” and need to say that you are a model for this.

  5. grace Forrest~Maestas March 5, 2013 at 1:34 am #

    it shouldn’t be a gift…it should just be the way it is. i am slow. but i show up.
    good then…a model. but there is nothing that i think can’t be shared. well, if it is
    our own. there is one thing that is not Mine, that i WOULD share…but it is not mine.
    but all else…it’s commonground and we need to do this.
    LOVE

  6. julie March 6, 2013 at 12:07 pm #

    I have been thinking about this issue of “trying” a lot lately, too. I am beginning to wonder if the gears of one’s life move better when we just be, or, at most, just learn. This cloth is a beautiful exploration of that, I can see the changes as you exhale.

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