So I’ve started a new blog site and a voice in my head is saying “whoop-dee-doo, and so?” Well, so nothing except this: I notice I’m AFRAID of seeming trite and I’m also noticing how vulnerable I feel. What’s that all about? I’d venture it’s about this process of putting it out there–THEN paying attention to what is arising. In this case, the arising of these uncomfortable feelings is helping me see where on the flypaper I’m stuck. Helping me step back from my SELF, view the big picture and then ask myself, “REALLY–you’re worried about stuff like THAT?” I think this is called gaining perspective. It’s also helping me sort the wheat from the chaff in terms of hearing my authentic voice. The only one I wish to speak with but the one that sometimes hesitates. Authenticity, yes.
And that brings me to something else. Today I was pulling out work from last year, looking for something for a gift. I liked some of what I saw.
It’s very different from what I’m doing now–THEN I was just doing. Without thought. Just doing what came to me. Now I’m wondering if I’m doing some other THING. This cloth piece is goopy in a sense. Some of the fabric was painted and the paint had glitter in it. The CROW in me is in all ways attracted to the bright and shiny. I don’t really know if it’s horrible, funky or just nondescript. But I can still feel the realness of the place where it came from. So I’m thinking about authenticity and perspective.